Stress, gratitude, and moving forward

These past few days have been a challenge. I've been feeling really overwhelmed with everything going on. I've been trying to chip items off my to-do list of DOOM (which was about a half a page long handwritten) without adding too many other things to it. To be honest, I've had a couple breakdowns too. Mostly over the stress of trying to get a reliable sublet person in my apartment. I leave Vancouver in 12 days and I've been feeling the panic rising. I'd say I'm at the DEFCON 3 level.

But my lovely coworker and friend Kendra reminded me this morning that no matter what happens, I need to look at the big picture. If I don't get a sublet, well, I'll have to eat rent...but sometimes life makes you deal with things that are sudden and you just have to deal without it letting it destroy you with stress and anxiety. AND, that I need to remember what I'm looking forward to on this trip, so that the stress of preparations doesn't overshadow my perspective of what lies ahead. Thank you friend!

What lies ahead? A trip of a lifetime. That is what my TMJ massage therapist said to me yesterday. She's excited for me. And she reminded me that I may only get this opportunity to take off and explore the world. I'm hoping that I will have another chance in the future (my granny was travelling around the world well into her 80's), but yes, all I have is this moment and what is in front of me.

I hold gratitude for the process of planning for this trip, and I acknowledge that I am so privileged to be able to go on this trip. I know that some folks will be living vicariously through me. And I know that my friends, family, and coworkers know that I deserve this trip because I've had a really tough past 4-5 years. Thank you for your support. 

I'm proud of how I've handled my preparations to date. Here's some highlights from the past couple of days:

1) I bought a new 4-wheel spinner hard-sided luggage in a pattern that my friends have described as "so me." She'll be easy to see coming off any luggage carousel in any airport ever. And she's cute as all get-out.

Russian Doll travel companion suitcase

2) I spent a good hour + yesterday with my map of Portugal and Spain highlighting places I want to visit. So far I've only completed marking up Portugal - where I've indicated 22 places of interest. I won't be going to all of them, but its nice to finally see things in relation to one another.

Most days I'm working 9 hours, running errands on lunch breaks and after work and generally packing up personal effects at home to get ready for a sublet. I just need to remember to breathe, have gratitude that I get the opportunity to have this trip, and keep moving forward...